Have a Great Relationship with your Teenager!

It is interesting that parents are lead to believe that parenting teenagers will be difficult and upsetting. Just like the prediction of the “terrible twos”. Expectations have a huge impact on the results of your parenting. When you expect a child to behave badly it actually changes the way you act and respond. So, if you expect good behavior, expect to have a positive relationship with your teen, then you are well on the way to having that possibility become a reality.

One of the big mistakes that parents make with parenting adolescents is that they fail to recognize that their child is moving into a new stage of development that requires less control and more listening and communication. That change does not happen overnight but parents can find themselves wondering “where did we go wrong”, when their teen is sometimes uncommunicative, moody, disrespectful, demanding and seems disinterested in being with the family.

Some of the changes are appropriate to the developmental tasks that are part of being a teen. When your happy pre-adolescent no longer thinks you are the coolest thing around, don’t take it personally. The developmental task of a teenager is to separate from the family and become an independent person with her own opinions and ideas. So, having some space for your teen to have a different idea or opinion on a subject than you do is normal. How you respond to it however, is key.

To navigate this sometimes frustrating time is to understand what is going on with your adolescent son or daughter. They want to be independent, make decisions, do things which adults do both good and bad. Some of this experimentation should be expected. Remember when you were a teenager?

Parenting adolescents can be an exciting time watching your child grow into a responsible adult. Sometimes a little help can make the process much easier with less conflict. A parenting teenagers class can help you understand and respond more effectively to your teen. Learning how to implement a parenting style that is respectful and effective can make all the difference.

You will learn that when you change your response to your teenager, his behavior will change.

When you include your teen in discussions about family rules and curfews you will find that following those rules is more likely.

When you are clear about what you as the parent will and will not do, before an infraction occurs, you will find your teen more cooperative.

When you allow your teen to make limited choices and experience the consequences of those choices you teach responsibility and accountability.

When you respect yourself and treat your teen with respect you will find she is more respectful.